Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Project Management Excuse List Part II

Welcome to our new and revised excuse list. People suggested many excellent excuses, some of which even I haven't used. The idea of this list, is that rather than long winded excuses being given in meetings, people can simply give numbers.

Project Manager 1: "We're working hard, but we've got 2 and 19 holding us up."
Project Manager 2: "We are in good shape, but we're being hurt by 8, 22 and 30."

You get the point. Suggestions are always welcome.

Numbered Excuse List
  1. We've got scope creep. I don't know where it came from, but have you seen this cool little widget we've added...
  2. How come we never have enough money? Honest, if I could just get this one other tool...
  3. The requirements weren't defined. Why do I have to keep going to all these meetings, I mean, I've already started coding...
  4. The requirements keep changing. Every time I talk to someone, they want something different. It's not worth writing them down...
  5. There's a bug in the (Pick one or more: vendors, downstream app, upstream app, operating system, monitoring system, security... our software)
  6. The new software we bought doesn't work the way we want. It looked so easy when the sales...
  7. We haven't heard back from the software vendor, we filed the report (Pick one: weeks ago, months ago, yesterday... 5 minutes before coming to this meeting)
  8. The project manager from company XXX isn't here today, all the problems are with XXX...
  9. Testing found something we hadn't expected, it will (Pick one: double, triple...)
  10. There's a holiday in XXX's country. They won't be back before Monday. There's nothing we can do until...
  11. We couldn't reach Betty-the-business-analyst or (insert name here), we're stuck until...
  12. The Development, Testing, QA, Production environments aren't the same, the sysadmins are looking at it, they should be done...
  13. Management doesn't understand the problem, if they would just take more time...
  14. Management is too involved, why won't they just let us do our job...
  15. The project sponsor isn't helping us. We sent them an email two weeks or 5 minutes ago and haven't heard anything...
  16. The project sponsor keeps meddling in what we're doing. Every time we turn around, they're asking us questions
  17. Huh? That was due today?
  18. There's a huge boa constrictor in the garage. Looks like there's no way we can get the car out.
  19. My laptop caught a virus, and I lost (fill in the appropriate amount) of work.
  20. The time and location differences between the work group members can still cause some delay problems but the work quality is outstanding with our new collaboration systems.
  21. Sorry, I just got bogged down with my being too busy on too many projects.
  22. You mean it's not there already, let me have my assistant call Fedex and see where the papers are.
  23. We are having email problems, can you resend all emails you sent me for the last 3 months?
  24. The aliens came back and took me away. [Editor: I wish they'd take you.]
  25. The dog at my car.
  26. I am on my way. [Actually I have not yet left home/office].
  27. My cell battery went off, and I was delayed while charging it.
  28. It took longer to sleep than anticipated.
  29. xxx (someone high up) asked me to work on xxx.
  30. I am checking one last time to make sure it is perfect.
  31. xxx (reviewer) needs to see it one more time.
  32. I'm in jail, can you bail me out so I won't be late?
  33. It was more work than I thought
  34. Don't pay the ransom, I've escaped.
  35. Sorry, I accidentally killed the Lead last night.

Photo Credit: Mike Willis

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