Welcome to our new and revised excuse list. People suggested many excellent excuses, some of which even I haven't used. The idea of this list, is that rather than long winded excuses being given in meetings, people can simply give numbers.
Project Manager 1: "We're working hard, but we've got 2 and 19 holding us up."
Project Manager 2: "We are in good shape, but we're being hurt by 8, 22 and 30."
You get the point. Suggestions are always welcome.
Numbered Excuse List
- We've got scope creep. I don't know where it came from, but have you seen this cool little widget we've added...
- How come we never have enough money? Honest, if I could just get this one other tool...
- The requirements weren't defined. Why do I have to keep going to all these meetings, I mean, I've already started coding...
- The requirements keep changing. Every time I talk to someone, they want something different. It's not worth writing them down...
- There's a bug in the (Pick one or more: vendors, downstream app, upstream app, operating system, monitoring system, security... our software)
- The new software we bought doesn't work the way we want. It looked so easy when the sales...
- We haven't heard back from the software vendor, we filed the report (Pick one: weeks ago, months ago, yesterday... 5 minutes before coming to this meeting)
- The project manager from company XXX isn't here today, all the problems are with XXX...
- Testing found something we hadn't expected, it will (Pick one: double, triple...)
- There's a holiday in XXX's country. They won't be back before Monday. There's nothing we can do until...
- We couldn't reach Betty-the-business-analyst or (insert name here), we're stuck until...
- The Development, Testing, QA, Production environments aren't the same, the sysadmins are looking at it, they should be done...
- Management doesn't understand the problem, if they would just take more time...
- Management is too involved, why won't they just let us do our job...
- The project sponsor isn't helping us. We sent them an email two weeks or 5 minutes ago and haven't heard anything...
- The project sponsor keeps meddling in what we're doing. Every time we turn around, they're asking us questions
- Huh? That was due today?
- There's a huge boa constrictor in the garage. Looks like there's no way we can get the car out.
- My laptop caught a virus, and I lost (fill in the appropriate amount) of work.
- The time and location differences between the work group members can still cause some delay problems but the work quality is outstanding with our new collaboration systems.
- Sorry, I just got bogged down with my being too busy on too many projects.
- You mean it's not there already, let me have my assistant call Fedex and see where the papers are.
- We are having email problems, can you resend all emails you sent me for the last 3 months?
- The aliens came back and took me away. [Editor: I wish they'd take you.]
- The dog at my car.
- I am on my way. [Actually I have not yet left home/office].
- My cell battery went off, and I was delayed while charging it.
- It took longer to sleep than anticipated.
- xxx (someone high up) asked me to work on xxx.
- I am checking one last time to make sure it is perfect.
- xxx (reviewer) needs to see it one more time.
- I'm in jail, can you bail me out so I won't be late?
- It was more work than I thought
- Don't pay the ransom, I've escaped.
- Sorry, I accidentally killed the Lead last night.
Photo Credit: Mike Willis